It's commonly believed that having friends can alleviate feelings of loneliness. However, it's not merely about having friends, but having the right kind of friendships that truly address loneliness. The key lies in selecting friends who align with your goals and purposes in life.
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Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
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Proverbs 18:24 emphasizes the importance of choosing friends wisely, underscoring the significance of genuine connections over mere acquaintance. It's not about accumulating numerous friendships, but about fostering meaningful ones that provide support and understanding.
Some individuals may try to fill their lives with people and friends, only to find that it exacerbates their struggles. The solution to loneliness doesn't lie in simply expanding one's social circle, but rather in nurturing deep, meaningful connections with individuals particularly those who know God and understand you.
Authentic Friendships
A genuine friend is someone who isn't afraid to offer constructive criticism out of love, as Proverbs 27:6 illustrates. True friendship involves vulnerability and honesty, even if it means facing uncomfortable truths.
Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
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Hebrews 3:12-13Â highlights the importance of mutual encouragement and accountability among friends, emphasizing the role of sincere relationships in combating spiritual struggles and strengthening one's faith.
Hebrews 3:12 Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.
13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
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Getting married to fix loneliness.Â
While marriage is often viewed as a solution to loneliness, it's essential to recognize that it addresses singleness, not necessarily loneliness itself. Loneliness is a deeper issue of the heart that transcends marital status.
- If you are lonely all the time, don’t assume that marriage will fix your loneliness.Â
- You can still be married and be lonely, you can also be single and not lonely.Â
- Loneliness is an issue from the heart that only God can fix.
Just as it's unwise to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, seeking companionship out of desperation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness. It's crucial to address internal struggles and emotional needs before seeking external solutions.
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Entering into a relationship with someone who doesn't share your faith can lead to profound heartache and spiritual discord, highlighting the importance of aligning values and beliefs in relationships.
The best thing you can do right now is to work on those areas in your life where you're seeking a solution from a friend, or if you're searching for a solution in a spouse, or if you're seeking a solution outside of Christ to fill a void or alleviate some kind of loneliness. Thinking that another person can fix it is simply a lie.
Accepting Christ will fix my loneliness.
You should accept that Jesus, God who came to earth as a man, died on a cross in my place. He paid for all of my sins—everything I’ve done in my past, everything I’m going to do in the future—he paid for all of it, and he died again. You should accept all of that, but it’s not going to fix your loneliness. It’s not accepting Christ that will fix your loneliness; it is walking with Christ that is the way we battle loneliness.
Take advantage of the access
It is not access to Christ alone that will solve your loneliness. It is taking advantage of that access and walking with Jesus on a consistent basis. You can’t just think if you accept Christ, you’ll spend eternity with God in heaven. That’s what the Bible teaches—if you have true faith and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe that Jesus rose from the dead, you shall be saved. But it is not just having access to that relationship with God that’s going to allow you to battle loneliness; it is taking advantage of that access, acting on it, and walking with him consistently.
Walking with Christ involves confessing and repenting your sin.
You can’t walk with God without a willingness to confess and turn from sin. You can’t walk with God without a willingness to confess, acknowledge that none of us are perfect people, and that we need a savior. So confess and repent, and turn from that.
Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”
In other words, the less pure of heart you are, the more you allow us to infiltrate and find your heart, sit and contaminate it. The more sin present in your heart, the sooner it creates a barrier of intimacy between you and GodÂ
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What does it look like to walk with God?
If you’re wondering what it means to battle loneliness by walking with Him, it means confessing and repenting of sin when you see it in your life, and when people point it out. It means having constant communication with Him through prayer.
God desires a relationship with you that goes beyond seeing Him as a bell service or a 911 call; He wants a constant walkie-talkie connection. All relationships require communication for survival, and He wants you to involve Him in every experience through constant communication.
1 Peter 5:7Â Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Everything you care about, He wants you to bring to Him. Pray to Him about everything you care about: your anxiety about work, your concern about your friends, your anxiety about what your boss may think of you, the presentation you have coming up. Pray that you only get green lights on the way to work—I don’t know if you should pray for that one, but I do know that He wants you to pray, and as you do, He will align your will to His.
God cares about everything you care about; He wants you to bring those things to Him.
Trust and obey
A component of walking with Christ involves trusting and obeying. Follow what the word says and walk by faith.
Romans 12:2Â And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God
When you allow God to help handle situations and trust in God, and actually do what he wants you to do, your faith will begin to grow. Faith is like a muscle—the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.
So next time you feel lonely...
Go to God in prayer. Pray about everything you care about—your anxiety, concerns about work, friends, or anything else. Bring those things to Him, and trust that He cares for you.
Those who have never had a moment where they’ve trusted in Jesus...
Are going to spend eternity alone away from God. He doesn’t want that for you. He loves you and made that abundantly clear 2000 years ago when he died in your place.
If there’s anything good about loneliness...
It reminds us that we’re not home. No human, substance, or money can provide eternal satisfaction. You will either experience eternal satisfaction because you’re home, or eternal regret because you’re not.
Solution to loneliness is not more friends...
But the right friends. Marriage cannot fix loneliness—only walking with Christ every single day can.